An Elegant Minute: Stop Degrading our Husbands

An Elegant Minute: Stop Degrading our Husbands

Posted on Posted in An Elegant Minute, The Journey

I had mentioned this on my Facebook post earlier this week.  I feel so strongly about how wrong it is, that I thought I’d write about it too on an Elegant Minute. Stop degrading our husbands.


Be it your husband, your boyfriend, your fiance, or really anyone in your life, you shouldn’t be treating anyone with the little respect I’ve been witnessing.


Lately, I have noticed how much the men in the family have been dismissed or seen as a big child. This has been happening more and more in the media and even referenced on television shows.


A popular example is how the wife has THREE children (two actual children and one husband). I feel this to be very unfair and humiliating for the husband. I understand it’s funny and it can be a well done joke, but it’s starting to go from an adorable chuckle to a full-blown feminist women-against-men war.


Sadly, there are no winners.


Stop degrading our husbands… an elegant woman doesn’t do this.


Simply put, a truly elegant woman refuses to put anyone down. For one thing, she doesn’t feel the need to be superior in ANY of her relationships. Meaning that she has enough confidence in herself and self-control that it is not necessary to feel better at the expense of others. And second, she would never want her husband/boyfriend to feel that she is “on top” or that what ever she says – goes. By insinuating there is one who person is dominating, there will always be a battle for control.


It’s just not a very elegant attribute. An elegant woman would want to help others rise as better people, essentially, she would build them up instead of tearing them down.


Equality is elegance.


What happens is a struggle with ensue. Whether it is intentional or not, there will be a power struggle and someone always gets hurt. (Not physically, but emotionally). But the wounds hurt for a very long time.


Without sounding like an annoying woman from a century ago…


After marriage, when two people said “I do” they worked together very hard to build a life together. Now, marriage is two individuals who meet and live their two individual lives…together. There is no building a life because their life is already happening, and usually apart for most of it.


I get the impression that marriage is just another piece of the life puzzle that just needs to be done. But is put on the back burner.


A happy marriage is when both respect each other equally


It shows a young couple that it doesn’t need to be equal. As long as the woman gets what she wants then everything is good. It shouldn’t be like this.


Children are being guided by this idea that a man must tip toe around his wife and  not say anything too insensitive. One example is a shoe commercial. She established it is MY money, it makes ME happy, and I like shoes. Well she gave her husband three reasons why she goes out and frivolously buys unnecessary shoes. But all three reasons were only about her. Very selfish. Besides the fact that she was being extremely selfish, I find it crazy because just imagine if a man told his wife today, it’s my money.


There would be riots!


So why exactly, is it alright that a woman uses that? Again, call me old-fashioned but if you’re married, you’re working at building a life TOGETHER. So therefore, the money you make is both of yours to help build that life. Not to hide shopping sprees and spend it without any concern for your partner. 


Another example of how the media portrays men is stupid. Immature like children, but worse! I’ve seen one commercial where the man tells the woman sales clerk that he needs a simple fridge, he says “without the bells and whistles” and then as soon as he walks a bit further, his wife goes up to that same sales clerk and tells her “ALL the bells and ALL the whistles” and they both nod at each other to symbolize ‘we already knew that, it didn’t matter what he said’.


I just find this to be so frustrating, because I see this all the time too, even in real life. As much as it doesn’t look like it, their opinion should matter, just as yours does. I get this is supposed to be a funny commercial. But why is treating the man like a child funny? Why is dismissing their ideas or thoughts, funny?


If it were the other way around, would you still be amused? I know we are more intelligent than that, our sense of humor isn’t that pathetic…



Happy wife happy life: But why does the husband always get shafted?


I have realized that men are very sensitive people. Possibly more so than women. And they really do care what their wife/girlfriend thinks of them. Regardless as it may seem, they really do need all the love we are capable of giving them.


When you build them up and shower them with the love you want to give them, the love they give back in return is just as great.


However, when you mock, dismiss, or always disrespecting them, they will pull away faster than you can blink your eyes. And that makes it worse for everyone.


The saying happy wife, happy life is true. But I also feel it works both ways.


Naturally, if you help your husband be the man you want him to be, he will want to make you the happiest wife. A man really loves to spoil and make the wife as happy as he can. Whether it is material or emotional, he wants to make you happy. However, when he is feeling belittled or not even considered an equal, that feeling diminishes.


Being an elegant woman means to not fall into the trap that women are better and smarter… Remain humble and kind.


An elegant woman doesn’t underestimate her power as a wife/girlfriend and knows that her words can carry more strength than anything else. She knows she can build up or truly decimate her husband, and always chooses to build up. Even in the most hardest of times, because frankly, that’s when it can do the most good.


The next time an opportunity arises where you can build him up, do so. The results may surprise you. As elegant woman we should stand together and not put down anyone!


Becoming an elegant woman just doesn’t help you live your life better, it makes others around you also better.


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Until next time


Keep it elegant!


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