I was talking to someone the other day about obituaries and the like. We were discussing how weird it would be to see our own obituary and if we would even like what it had to say! When I got home that night I started to ask myself, how do you want to be remembered?
And maybe it is not exactly how do I want to be, but how am I going to be remembered?
This resonated with me and I couldn’t stop thinking about what I can do so I would be proud of what people remember. How I want to be remembered is going to be how I act and treat others today, and tomorrow and every day in the future.
Am I kind or generous?
How elegantly do I handle situation?
What are my interactions with strangers and loved ones like?
Your reputation is your commodity
I know that my reputation should be thought of as a commodity because once it is gone, it is hard to get back again. The more that you handle it with care and be thoughtful, the more precious and valuable it becomes. Every time you lie or do something deceitful, you damage it’s worth a little.
You must be careful not to hurt it too much because once others have lost trust in you, it will only hurt you in the long run. To gain back trust is very hard to do! And that is even if they give you the opportunity to do so.
So in short, if I want people to think of me as a woman of poise and elegance, who is generous, kind and thoughtful, then I must become that woman all the time. Not only when it is easy to do, when I feel like it or only when people are watching.
I have to embody everything I believe in.
It’s easy to write on a paper or think to yourself that I want to be seen as an elegant woman then go out and be rude or yell and manipulate people. You can tell yourself a thousand times you’re elegant but no one will believe you, let alone think it. The next time you want to gossip, lie, insult, complain or do/say anything negative you are really only hurting yourself. Your image. Your reputation. As much as you say “I don’t care what others think of me” … it matters and deep down you know it does too.
How do you want to be remembered?
Wherefore, my beloved brethen, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.
There are times when I am upset or in a fight and I know it would feel so good to say something insulting or yelling at them, but then I think of this bible verse and remember that a wise elegant woman would be slow to speak and slow to get angry. It is something an elegant women would do because it is so hard and takes immense self control.
If it were that easy than every woman would be elegant, poised and gentle.
But sadly, it takes a lot of self-discipline and learning to remain calm. This comes through experiences and only by practicing it daily, can it be mastered.
Do I want to be a wise woman who doesn’t fall victim to her quick lapses of judgement? Who can’t control her emotions and just flies off the handle? Maybe I should strive to be the woman who chooses her words carefully. The wise woman who builds people around her up.
I think the saying goes, ‘don’t be selfless, but think of yourself less’.
Not only do you want to be remembered for being calm and collected in situations and always saying the right thing. But also you want to be remembered for being generous and caring. Compassionate and empathetic. Thoughtful and patient. There are so many wonderful traits that we want to keep in mind when we go about our day and by focusing on how we want to be remembered can help us stay true to who we want to be.
Checklist of good traits to be remembered for
1.Being generous and giving. People would often refer to you as “giving the shirts off their back”.
2.Thoughtful. How do you choose people’s gifts? Is it a money card or something that they have been hinting at? Do you write a card with a loving comment or just sign your name?
3.Patient. Not being quick to get angry or roll your eyes. You never seem to rush people or what they have to say.
4.Hard working. Nothing ever fell into your lap, you deserved everything you have because you worked hard for it all.
5.Trustworthy. Once you lose it, it is so hard to gain it back and it is never fully restored either.
6.Gentle. This doesn’t necessarily only refer to being soft when touching something. It also refers to your demeanor. To be gentle also means to remain calm when faced with a bad situation. To remain peaceful when it is most difficult.
7.Your smile and love of life. This one may be the most important one. When people think back to you, is it a smile that they remember or a frown? You want to be remembered for being a person who is excited to live and find the best in it every day. You want to be remembered as someone who was passionate about life and lived it to the fullest.
Am I missing any traits?
What do you want to be remembered for? Let me know!
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Until next time
Keep it elegant!
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